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Why Men Desperately Need Feminism

Why Men Desperately Need Feminism image

Men and women are biologically, sexually and psychologically different and those are facts, facts beyond human argument. Coming down to economical, mental and political aspects which is in human reach, men and women still aren’t the same but the difference is they could be and they should, which leads us to the feminism movement purely centred on the equality of rights politically, socially and economically between men and women. Women have fought for feminism for almost 200 years with little or no help from men. But this article isn’t for women and it’s not for the ignorant men who have willingly refused to understand feminism, this is for the men who want to understand more and the men who are scared to be labelled feminists. This is what feminism means from the views of a man.

 

Gender Expectation

 

Male roles are centred in strength, honour and action, which are healthy themes, but they have all evolved as humans do to concepts such as arrogance, lack of conscience, violence, hyper aggression, objectifying sex and restricting emotions which all fall under the umbrella of hyper masculinity. Young boys are wounded by a world that demands them to be this invisible concepts but ever-present concepts. Emotional neglect is what lays the groundwork for emotional numbing which later explodes into a wild ego of hyper masculine misbehaviour i.e. rape, brutality, rage, discrimination, arrogance and wilful ignorance which are all normalized by people with phrases like “boys will be boys”. These boys become men and these men become responsible for the world. Feminism is a breath of fresh air, a window into the spectrum that gender roles fall into.

 

Rape Culture and Mental Health

 

3 out of every 10 men were molested as little children, 1 out of every 10 men has been raped and just 14% of men raped share their experiences. In 2014, 75% of suicides were committed by men, male to female teenage suicide is currently 3:1 and less than 40% of men who died of suicide ever had psychiatric help. Feminism is restructuring gender roles and helping us fine tune what masculinity is defined by. Current male gender roles force a man to always be strong even when he isn’t, to uphold the masculine themes of strength, power and impregnability. But that is a lie, sometimes men are weak and vulnerable and they need help. Vulnerability has been made to look like a limitation but it is purely a symptom that something needs to be handed more delicately. Feminism is also taking men to a higher standard. Women are inherently wrong when raped, wrong for being a woman, wrong for being at the wrong place at the wrong time but why are men allowed to be such savage animals, why aren’t their morals immediately questioned as opposed to the victim?  Instead of attacking the dress codes and morals of women, why do we not attack the vile behaviour of a man to defile a woman? If men take up the role of provider and protector why do we irrationally and unconsciously protect guilty men? Let the standard of feminism teach us better.

 

Income Inequality

 

Money is what gives us men the power that we have, it used to be physical power but now it is economical power and giving the right opportunities and a fair playing ground economical power is up for grabs to anyone. In Nigeria, statistics have shown that for every 1 naira made by a woman a man makes 1.08 naira more, though there have been a continuous increase in women who are now in the labour force there haven’t been an increase in women going to school which can be argued that men are encouraged and sponsored more to go to school than women are. Men with children are significantly paid more than women with children in fact statistically their pay reduces after childbirth. Tinuke (2013)

As fathers, brothers and sons we want the best for the women in our lives especially the women who sole breadwinners. Do not handicap women because in this time they carry the same economical and family burden a man carries but are still not eligible for the full economical profits. Let my mother, sister and daughter get what they deserve let them be able to support themselves and the men in their lives not because they have but because they want too. So many men have been forced into a life of crime because of the burden of responsibilities both men and women can share.

 

Parental Roles

 

gender roles proposed the current day roles and stereotypes when it comes to parenting. Women were boxed into the role of a domestic caregiver and housekeeper, which left men to be the provider and protector of the family. Thanks to feminism, women can strive to be just more than someone’s wife and someone’s mother, she can aspire to be anything under the sun though, yes, she will still have more obstacles than men would. Nonetheless there is still a stigma on single fathers and stay at home fathers. Fathers who question the idea of the sole custody of their children belonging to their mothers in a divorce, husbands who choose to sacrifice their careers to be a stay at home parent not because they have too but because they want too, fathers who have lost their wives and are pressured to remarry because only a woman can raise a child. Historically speaking yes women do make the best parents because of responsibility was forced on them and it is woven into how they are raised but if we can start to decimate the stigma of men taking on more domesticated paternal roles years to comes things would be much different.

This also applies to single mothers who are looked upon as incapable of keeping a man or labelled a careless slut, which in effect psychologically harms the sons they raise. As they see people subject their mother to stigma and pressure that impairs the way they view themselves and other women. Let feminism embolden men to not also be boxed into categories and stereotypes.

 

Feminism brings to the table the idea and notion that spectrums exist in the way we identify ourselves. There are no two sides to anything when it comes to human behaviour, there are 7 billion people on this earth and no 2 people act the same way so why do we let culture categorise people before they are even born, before they can even experience life. Human nature isn’t stagnant it is dynamic so social politics should be dynamic also. Feminism is the notion, which highlights that men are from earth, women are from earth deal with it and let everyone live.


submitted by Douye Fumudoh

Photo: odyssey



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